Steven Conner Skeen
Contact Steven Conner Skeen
Dating can be a huge deal for a lot of us to endure and overcome. How to get a date? How to break the ice? What do we say? How do we act? Articles on top of articles are all over Google. How to ask out a guy? How to ask out a girl? Like most everything else in our lives, we make dating a lot more complicated than it should be.
That’s why instead of giving you another generic list of 25 blatantly obvious dating tips or the 57 different ways to get a date, I thought I’d share something that no one else is talking about when it comes to landing a date. And no, it has nothing to do with your cover photo on tinder. Honestly it has nothing to do with online dating whatsoever. That’s right, we’re going old school baby – face to face.
I can hear the protest now, “WHAT!? You want me to walk up and talk to them face to face!?”
By all means, if you want to click the back button and thumb through the lists of 500 things you should and shouldn’t do in all the other dating articles out there, be my guest. It’s totally up to you whether or not you want your love life to thrive, or you want it to continue being right where it’s at – boring and stagnant.
While we’re on the subject, I want you to know… it’s ok to feel nervous. Why? Let me ask you a question. Ladies, if a cute guy came up to you to ask you out and was obviously nervous, would you be flattered? Absolutely! Now guys, if a beautiful woman came up to you and was interested in you but obviously nervous, wouldn’t you be flattered? Hell yeah, of course you would! So stop worrying about being nervous. If someone thinks you suck because you’re nervous to approach them, even after swallowing your irrational fears and approaching them anyway, then they’re not worth it. What do you have to lose? That’s right, not a damn thing. No matter what that wine, ice cream, chocolate, beer, your cat… or cats… will still be there at home waiting for you. * disclaimer * do not consume the above in order as listed… or for your cat’s sake… at all.
That said, it’s time to dive into this.
At this point you know you’ll be walking straight up to your potential date. I’d venture to guess the first question that comes to mind as you think about yourself in that scenario is: “What do I say?” or, “how do I break the ice and start the conversation?” And here’s the greatest part, you’ll have said everything you need to say without saying a word before you even approach them. How’s that for some voodoo date magic?
I’m kidding, there’s no magic here, well… that might be debatable. What I’m saying, is there’s no voodoo going on here at all. So what the hell am I talking about? How do you break the ice without saying a word? What is this dating hack?
My friends, it’s eye contact.
Now hold up! Before you run out the door to throw down a smolder on the next unsuspecting man or woman you find attractive, I need to make a couple things perfectly clear.
- Eye contact does not mean staring.
- Eye contact does not mean you smolder, duckface, or anything of the sort.
These two strategies will most certainly not get you date.
Eye contact simply means meeting someone’s eyes with yours.
Another huge perk of eye contact is when someone’s eyes meet yours, 90% of the time you can tell instantly whether or not their interested in you. If you two comfortably hold one another’s gaze for a two or more seconds, pat yourself on the back. The ice is officially broken.
Once you make eye contact both of you will know whether or not you’re interested in one another, and you can simply walk up to the lucky guy or gal and introduce yourself. No pick-up lines (which you should absolutely never use anyway), no strategies, no games, just sincerity and genuine interest, desire, and curiosity in the person looking back at you.
So ditch the ridiculous lists of “expert dating tips” and simply look your prospective dates in the eyes. It may be intimidating for you or it may come naturally. Whatever the case, it’ll most certainly be worth it.
Now get out there! Get off the computer, off your phone, put down the wine, chocolate, and beer, and get yourself a date.